is your mom at the bar?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
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First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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