Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize