are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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