great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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