what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize