Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ride that face into the sunset
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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