I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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