Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize