woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize