Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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