return my video game
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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