What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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