Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
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I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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