Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You have to summon your inner elephant
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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