I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You're completely useless in the revolution.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
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I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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