Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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