Kiss
Puke
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize