I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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