Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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