I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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