"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize