Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize