She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize