Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs

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  (617): come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs http://tfl.nu/knkn
  Replies (16) Good night (6596) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget

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  (916): i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget http://tfl.nu/82uy
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.

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  (316): toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials. http://tfl.nu/kc0s
  Replies (18) Good night (1023) Bad night (4778) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.

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  (512): He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club. http://tfl.nu/qxuv
  Replies (16) Good night (1072) Bad night (3072) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.

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  (217): haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it. http://tfl.nu/2m8n
  Replies (6) Good night (3858) Bad night (587)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.

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  (407): Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition. http://tfl.nu/erlj
  Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.

  (831): View more from California

  How much did you smoke??

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  (916): This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big. (831): How much did you smoke?? http://tfl.nu/a96z
  Replies (7) Good night (1409) Bad night (515)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?

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  (757): Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes? http://tfl.nu/b8rs
  Replies (40) Good night (835) Bad night (2115) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play

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  (518): Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play http://tfl.nu/j01d
  Replies (10) Good night (1522) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.

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  (631): most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in. http://tfl.nu/lst9
  Replies (1) Good night (378) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.

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  (509): Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god. http://tfl.nu/tkyh
  Replies (8) Good night (290) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.

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  (971): Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica. http://tfl.nu/ptav
  Replies (3) Good night (935) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."

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  (832): I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung." http://tfl.nu/1h35
  Replies (14) Good night (1595) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...

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  (302): Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week... http://tfl.nu/cclg
  Replies (3) Good night (319) Bad night (622)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.

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  (315): I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly. http://tfl.nu/59ai
  Replies (7) Good night (442) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt

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