we have pet lesbian snakes
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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