I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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