we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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