When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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