I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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