Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize