What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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