I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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