I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
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Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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