make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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