I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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