Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so let's talk penis.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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