was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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