She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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