Don't you send me to vm
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
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I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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