I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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