hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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