PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
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How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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