I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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