Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
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Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
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