there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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