i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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