Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize