Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize