guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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