so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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